Day 2

I have wanted to start a blog for a long time, and even did at one point, but something stops me every time. Self-doubt, it comes in the form of questions like, what if my grammar sucks? What if I spell simple words wrong? What if I appear shallow, narrow minded and just plain stupid? Seeing as one of my resolutions is to write more and another is to start a blog, I have to get over that. Needed to get that out as a justification for any mistakes I might make, now you know I just don’t care anymore.
On to what changes I want to make or add to my life. I will warn you the list is long and I am overwhelmed by it myself, but lucky for you, you don’t have to do them.

• Lose Weight – Always at the top of my list. Even when I was skinny I wanted to lose weight, because someone else was skinnier. I have lied to myself plenty about how I don’t want to do it to look good, but to be healthy. The truth is I just want to look cute in clothes (insert remark about how shallow I am).

• Meditate Daily – my goal is to eventually get up to 30 minutes a day, but I know I can’t start there. (There is irony in this goal and I am sure I will address it at some point.)

• Read a book a week – a friend of mine inspired me to do this. I have my doubts, but I am going to do my best here.

• No TV (movies are ok) – If I actually try to accomplish the goal above then this one should be easy, because I have a busy life and it doesn’t have time for lots of reading and lots of TV. Why are movies ok? Because this year I made my first film, a student short, and movies inspire me and entertain like nothing else. Movies don’t prevent me from being productive, TV does.

• Work outside everyday- for at least 20 minutes

• Exercise everyday – 30 minutes. I am going to let anything count as exercise in the beginning, because I haven’t done anything in so long it will all feel like exercise.

• Run a half marathon – I will work hard toward this one, but the last time I trained to run a long distant I injured myself and that was over 10 year ago. For now I am starting the couch to 5k and see what happens from there.

• Keep in touch with my siblings– I miss them all terribly and I think I can manage a once a week call or email to them. They are all so very wonderful, each in their special way, and I miss that in my life.

• Write daily

• Get on an elimination diet – a year or so ago, because of digestive reasons, I had to go on an elimination diet. I hated it. I was like an addict coming off my drug of choice. I was bitter, sad, angry, all of it. However, after a short time I started to feel amazing, still bitter, but my body felt great. On top of that about 4months in people started commenting on my skin. Telling me I had a glow about me. Well then I begin to introduce foods again and away went my feeling good and glowing skin. It is a harsh diet but I think it is the only thing that will make me feel better on so many counts.

• Blog

• Make another film

Well there you go. There are few more but those are the big ones. I woke up this morning saying to myself, “how bad would it be if I start tomorrow?” The problem with starting tomorrow is that tomorrow never comes.